When Online Dating Meets Economic Transformation

How I got my own height wrong, and other tales from the unlearning trenches

B. Lorraine Smith
9 min readSep 27, 2022


Sometimes it’s hard to see past the barriers that contain us. Murky stuff over there. (All images by me.)

This is going to get uncharacteristically personal. Boys and dating and stuff. I promise I’ll tie it to our regular program of shifting to an economy where all industry is a force for healing.

It’s also a bit long so let me give you the headlines. You can pick and choose where you want details.

  1. I left New York City for Montreal because of divorce
  2. I liked being single for a while
  3. Then I ventured into online dating
  4. I lied in my profile, didn’t know I was lying, defended my lie
  5. I am grateful to the Hamster for gently setting me straight
  6. I am unlearning in service of social justice and climate (domestic bliss optional)

Okay. Let’s go on a journey towards truth, with a pit stop at humility.

I left New York City for Montreal because of divorce

I moved to Montreal at the tail of 2018 because I was going through a divorce. The financial burden of starting from scratch in New York City was not worth the heartache and pain. So instead I opted for the logistical and social load that comes with starting from scratch in a brand new city.

Torontonian though I may be, I had said many times over the years that I hoped to live in Montreal some day. I guess Universe was paying attention, as she tends to, because when I saw the struggle to make things work in NYC, a great Montreal option landed in my lap.

I found an apartment that was just too good pass up and it became my home for three years. (I recently relocated to another neighbourhood but the past three years were magical. My new spot is awesome, too — and easier to chat with the river. More on that later. To the dating scene!)

I liked being single

I moved to Montreal as a single woman, and gladly so. I had been in one romantic relationship or another with very little pause in between since the age of 19. It was freeing and downright delightful to live on my own, putting my stuff…



Rethinking our Roman peace with Boudica and Manda Scott

66 min read

Mar 11

Museums Aren’t Us

11 min read

Dec 27, 2022

What kind of world do we want?

33 min read

Nov 4, 2022

They are in the room

8 min read

Dec 13, 2022

Medium Short: Understanding & Changing

5 min read

Jul 23, 2022

“Indigenous Peoples” Are Not a Topic

5 min read

Jul 23, 2022

Does TD Bank Belong in the Future?

11 min read

Jun 30, 2022

Truth Before Reconciliation

8 min read

Sep 30, 2021

4 min read

Jun 4, 2021

Adan and Toninho: Decolonizing Regenerative Agriculture

49 min read

Aug 11, 2021

B. Lorraine Smith

Recovering ESG "expert"; yarn spinner; distance runner; magical realist. Sensing a path to an economy serving life. also at https://blorrainesmith.substack.com/